I am honored again. She is called "The Bridget Jones" of Blogging.

This time Jennifer Stone of Breakfast at Tiffany's posted a portion of an email that I sent her. If you haven't read her blog, it's fabulous. And I don't use that word very often. This is from my email/her post:

Annie writes: "I stumbled upon your blog the other day and love, love, love it. I think you are living the life I would have if I was single and living in CA (including the script reading). I will therefore continue to read your blog and live vicariously thru it.I linked you from my blog, hope you don't mind. Cheers!" "I forgot to add that we even look alike. Same hair, eyes (although mine are blue), fair skin and your picture even has my cell phone. I think I'm getting freaked out now..."

Give her some love at:
http://tiffanystone.journalspace.com/

And look for the mention of Pepito Smith too!

¶ 7:26 PM //

Oh that could mean so many things.

But I'm talking about Mount St. Helen's. They say it's just a matter of time now. 70% chance of it happening within the next few days.

I was in grade school when it blew the first time. The ash plume drifted into Montana and it was a mess. I remember having to wear surgical masks to school and people washing it off of their cars. Runaway Bride was born the day after the explosion and the nurses tried to convince my mom to name her Helen. (She didn't.)

I have been to the mountain a few times since it blew in 1980. The first time was just a few years after the eruption. It was very quiet and calm but not in a peaceful sort of way.

When I was there five years ago it was very different. Things had come back to life and it is now a tourist attraction. But still, when you are up there, you can't help but wonder what you would do if it started to shake.

¶ 11:53 AM //

We don't have Tivo here. I don't even know if we can get it.

So last night after the kids went to bed, the hubby and I wanted to watch the Dodgers/Rockies game, the Padres/Giants game (both important games to the Dodgers) and the Bachelor. They were all on at the same time.

So we switched back and forth from the games on one tv in the living room and turned the Bachelor on the other tv in the kitchen - which you can see from the living room.

Yes we could have recorded the Bachelor but the one tape I have for recording had already been used to record the Apprentice from earlier in the evening.

We're so pathetic...

¶ 9:15 AM //

There is a little girl that lives across the street and two houses down. She is in 1st grade and when we moved here, we were warned about her by the other neighbors.

She runs around the neighborhood, unsupervised, at all hours of the night. She is usually dirty and without socks/shoes. She has stolen money, jewelry, toys and food from people's houses. She will walk right in if the door is unlocked and no one is home.

This is a new subdivision and there is a lot of new construction. I have chased her off of building sites, machinery, foundations, rebar, materials, dirt hills, etc. I always ask her where her shoes are and what her parents are doing. She never has an answer. I used to let her play at our house sometimes but I made it clear that she had to be clean, fully dressed and that she had to play outside with either myself or my husband on the property.

She used to have a dog and one morning we found it tied to some landscaping rocks at the construction site next to our house. The dog was constantly running loose at all hours too and finally got picked up by animal control. We thought the dog problem was solved but they replaced it with a new puppy.

The reason I bring this up is because it is a dark and stormy night. It is also pouring down rain. The doorbell just rang and there is this little girl on our front porch with no socks/shoes on and a winter coat that is too small for her. She is asking for Halloween candy (our house is decorated for Halloween - we are the first ones in the neighborhood and we usually go all out for holidays).

I asked her, again, where her shoes and her parents were. She said they were at home waiting for her. I told her that she needed to go home and that she should not be outside when it is dark and storming. I also told her that she can tell her parents I said so.

I know you are thinking "call the parents, call the school, call the police". Believe me, this has all been done. I have discussed this with several neighbors and they said the police have been notified, the parents have been talked to and that they are being "watched". There is also a sheriff who lives in our neighborhood and he now drives down the street on his way to/from work.

People are looking out for this little girl. Just not her parents. My mom says that what this little girl needs is someone to love her and that I should open my door to her.

And I feel so guilty because I haven't done so.

¶ 8:42 PM //

Hurricanes are unending...
Mount St. Helen's is rumbling...
California had an earthquake...
Our valley had an earthquake the same day...

They say that the entire Pacific rim is getting active.

Do you get the feeling that something is about to happen?

As I type this the thunder is rumbling thru the valley. There is nothing like thunder in the mountains. It is louder than you can imagine and you can actually feel it in your chest. First it cracks and then you hear rolling echos as it fades away. To me, the sound is intoxicating but it makes the hair on the back of my dogs stand up.

And now the doorbell has rung...

¶ 8:25 PM //

The A.S. (administrative staff) at Rance's site has spoken. If you look closely, there is more than meets the eye:

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/masturnader

¶ 7:09 AM //

From Vanity Fair...

A few months ago, I submitted an entry to their annual essay contest. The "assignment" was to write an essay that "describes the character of the American people to the rest of the world." I'm sorry to say that I can't tell you what I wrote because the rules state that the essay cannot be published in any form.

I'm saving the letter for Sunday, which is my birthday. (I said it first Edgar!)

I will open it then...

Update: Oh who am I kidding...I couldn't wait that long and it's a good thing I didn't. It was just a magazine subscription offer!!!!

¶ 7:08 PM //

Mr. Hollywood Screenwriter himself, Tad Bitter, has honored me with a guest blogger request.

Here is my entry:

I "met" Tad thru Rance's site. If you are here, then you probably know (or think you know) who that is. Tad was very helpful to me as I worked on my submission for the Bravo Situation Comedy Screenplay Contest. Tad was kind enough to answer even the most mundane of questions such as "what size brads" and "two or three hole punch". He is the Scarecrow to my Dorothy as I walk the yellow brick road towards the Land of Oz.

When Tad asked me to guest blog, I told him to give me a topic. He asked me to blog about what I would do if I won the Bravo contest. That's too easy. As hard as it would be to leave my family for ten weeks, I would go to LA, enjoy every minute of the experience and then make up for lost time with my family by using the cash prize to pay off debt, take the kids to Disneyland and my husband to see his beloved Dodgers.

So instead this entry is about the year I fell in love with the movies. It was 1982 and some of the movies released that year were:

Tootsie, An Officer and a Gentleman, Porky's, Star Trek the Wrath of Khan, 48 Hours, ET, The Man from Snowy River, Pink Floyd's The Wall, Poltergeist, Conan the Barbarian, Diner, Victor/Victoria, Sophie's Choice, Annie, First Blood, Blade Runner and Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Are you saying to yourself "Wow. All those movies came out that year?" They sure did. Impressive isn't it? Talk about range. Of course I was only 12 and couldn't see them all but I remember the buzz about the stories and the soundtracks.

Being on the verge of becoming a teenager, the film that moved me the most that year was not E.T. or Annie. It was Disney's The Man From Snowy River. There are just some films that have a lifelong affect on you. The Man From Snowy River is a movie about growing up, falling in love and knowing where you belong. It is also accompanied by a beautiful soundtrack composed by the great Bruce Rowland. If you think about it, everyone has a soundtrack of their life. Mine would include songs from many of the movies mentioned here but it is The Man From Snowy River soundtrack that permanently resides in both my car and home.

As I got older and movies either came out on video or came to cable, I was able to see the other films from 1982 that I had heard so much about. The stories were fascinating and I could spend all day here quoting great dialogue. A lot of these movies were springboards for actors that went on to have great film careers and I've had the privilege of growing up with them and watching them on screen.

Movies are meant to entertain the masses but they also inspire, enrage, comfort, engross, invoke and evolve us. It is said somewhere that everything we know is something we have either seen or heard. And nothing stirs the senses like the movies and the movie-theater experience. If it is a good film, it demands your attention without your realization. As the viewer, you submit to the story and allow it to lead you on it's own leash. The only thing you can control is if you want to stay in the seat. There is no controlling the characters, their actions, their words or their emotions. We, as the viewers, are at the mercy of the most important element of the film, the story born of the screenwriter.

The screenwriter is the mastermind. What is put on the screen is ultimately his creation and he is always there with a subliminal presence. Kind of like Oz himself. At first he is an all powerful vision. Then the curtain is drawn and he is just a regular guy with a great imagination.

I hope that there can be another year like 1982 that produces a range of well written films and a group of actors that go on for generations to come. I think that will only happen if Hollywood goes beyond the big box office to embrace the independent filmmakers and to give unknown screenwriters a chance.

In conclusion, since we are getting so close to election time and people are calling for change, I leave you with a quote from the 1982 film Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Fast Times was the first screenplay written by Cameron Crowe and was released when he was only 25 years old.

Jeff Spicoli : So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too." Yeah?

And now back to our regularly scheduled blogger...
http://writersblog.tripod.com/blog/

¶ 7:02 PM //

Would you please do a cover of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels? Your version would be hot and I'm sure Charlie would appreciate the royalty checks.

Signed,

The Mother of a Nine Year Old Daughter Who Plays Your Music ALL the Time

(I would have posted this on their website but you have to pay in order to post and all my extra money has gone towards buying cds for said daughter.)

¶ 1:20 PM //

Tad Bitter, Mr. Hollywood Screenwriter himself, has honored me with a guest blogger request. The entry is now in his hands and as soon as it appears on his site, I will post it here as well. Stay tuned...

¶ 1:10 PM //

Why is it that celebrities seem so much shorter when you meet them in real life? What is it about the screen that makes you think they are tall? And why is it such a big deal to them that they are not?

¶ 4:48 PM //

I feel so abandoned. Betrayed.

There was no note, no phone call, nothing.

After all we had been thru. The laughs, the fun, the adventure.

It took me so long to find someone I could trust, who would listen to me.

Yes, I'm talking about my hairstylist.

She just up, quit and left town. No one has heard from her and no one knows why.

So I was resigned to going with someone else. This was a little bit scary for me because I had decided to chop off a substancial amount of hair and donate it to Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a charity that takes donated human hair and makes wigs out of it for children with cancer. http://www.locksoflove.org/

But unfortunately we found out that in order to donate, it has to be at least a ten inch ponytail and mine was only six.

So Halle Berry, when you go back to short hair, please donate your gorgeous locks!

¶ 10:33 AM //

One of the greatest gifts of having kids is getting the excitement of Christmas back.

This week I received both the Sears and JcPenney Christmas catalogs in the mail. As I sat down with them this morning and flipped thru them, I suddenly find that I can't wait for Christmas. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the anticipation. The kids must agree because there was a lot of yelling and jumping up and down when I turned the catalogs over to them.

Last year, because of a medical crisis with my son and the pending move, we didn't get to do a lot of our favorite things. I think because of that, my whole family is looking forward to the holidays more than ever this year. Usually we go all out for Christmas and it starts right after Halloween:

1. We only allow Christmas music or videos in the car.

2. I buy everyone in the family a chocolate advent calendar. A bit of chocolate a day keeps the blues away.

3. Every week I bake a different batch of cookies. Half for eating, half get put away for Christmas. (See the January diet coming on?)

4. The hubby is in charge of putting up lights and displays on the outside of the house. We even bought one of those huge fan generated nylon displays for this year. It's a lighted and decorated Christmas tree. We also have one of those motion displays that shine on the garage door. It's Santa and his sleigh going around in a circle. We're not the Griswalds but we're getting there.

5. The Christmas tree (sadly it's fake but looks real) is decorated the Sunday after Thanksgiving with handmade ornaments, nice ornaments, garland, and lots and lots of lights. (The hubby is big on lights.) The kids also get to pick out one ornament of their own every year that is theirs to keep forever - even when they leave home. That way when they grow up, they can take some Christmas memories with them.

6. The kids have a smaller tree of their own that we put in the family room. Every year I keep all the little Happy Meal toys that they only play with for a week and if they will work, I turn them into ornaments for the kid tree. They have quite a collection now of unbreakable ornaments. It's highly entertaining for them and they spend hours taking them off and putting them back on the tree.

7. My job is to decorate the inside of the house and every room gets something special in it. My favorite things to put up are the lighted garland along the banister and some of the Mr. Christmas animatronic things (holiday skaters, music boxes, etc.) that I have collected over the years. I also sneak into the kids rooms at night, replace their light bulbs with green ones and tell them the Grinch did it.

8. My other job is wrapping the presents as they are bought. I usually do this at night when everyone has gone to bed. I put on some Christmas music, pour myself a glass of wine and wrap whatever is necessary. Then in the morning the kids love to run out and see what is new under the tree.

9. My inlaws come for a week and every night we do something different. The thing the kids look forward to the most is cookie night. My mother in law and I both bake several dozen sugar cookies and we all spend an evening listening to music and decorating them with frosting, sprinkles, candy, you name it. Every year it produces a HUGE mess but it is so much fun.

10. Lots and lots of sledding (helps burn off the cookie calories) followed by hot chocolate. We got a hot chocolate maker last year and it makes drinks to die for. Especially when you add some peppermint schnapps for the adults.

Sadly, some of our traditions will not be carried out this year because of the move. Last year we lived in one of those "theme" neighborhoods. There were several in our city and we had our own names for them. One street was Candy Cane lane, another was Wreath Way, another was Christmas tree corner, one was Pride parkway (lighted American flags) and the newest one was the Aisle of Misfit Toys. Everyone had a lighted plywood cutout of a different Misfit. The traffic driving thru these streets was awful but it was fun to participate. Wreath Way had a guy who dressed up in a Santa costume and gave candy to cars with kids in them. Even when it was snowing and the temperature was in the single digits, he would be out there.

The local zoo also had a loop of lighted Christmas decorations that you could drive thru. We would load up the back of the truck with hay, sleeping bags and pile the kids and their friends in the back to make the loop.

On Christmas eve, our dinner consists of a huge assortment of snacks and appetizers. Everyone grazes and we play board games. We are not regular churchgoers but there is something about attending midnight mass every year that is very peaceful. It's probably because the kids are asleep at home with grandpa and grandma!

We are a Christmas-morning-present-opening family. The hubby's family used to open gifts on Christmas Eve but when we got married I asked that they change to Christmas morning. To me it is just more fun.

And speaking of that, I was in the store this week and was looking at the Christmas items that were already out. One of the store employees said to me "All this nonsense for a few hours on Christmas morning."

And that made me really sad...until I saw the new Mr. Christmas items for this year!

¶ 10:38 AM //

Say it in your best Ahhhrnould voice. Africanuck, Tall Poppy and I already had this conversation but that's what I call my computer. The procrastinator keeps me from getting all sorts of things done.

What am I procratinating about tonight? Well yesterday I received an invitation from Nouvelles Images (http://www.nouvellesimages.com) to come up with verses for their new stationery and greeting card line that comes out in January. There are about 50 cards and I have until October 15th to get my submissions in. Normally that is more than enough time but when glancing at the calendar today, it appears that October is busier than usual for our family and so that means I only have this weekend to get the job done.

So I am sitting here looking at these beautiful and funny photographic art pieces and trying to find words that are both touching and humorous. It's just not happening tonight so I guess you could say I have writer's block.

I truly feel for people who stand at the greeting card display and search for the card that says just the right thing. It can take forever and after awhile people end up just settling for something. I try to make verses that are short, sweet and to the point. The kind that make you laugh out loud when you read them. I can do the long, lengthy, flowerly, sappy verses too but they're just not my style. Since no one writes actual handwritten letters anymore, I think that cards are a nice piece of sentimentality. I have kept every card my husband and kids have given me and I always have the kids trace their handprints in them. I will admit, however, that it is their "homemade" ones that I like the best.

To tell you the truth, I am frankly surprised that I got asked to do this. My earlier attempts at doing this kind of work were met with little but pending success. I should know in October if two of my verses (submitted to another line) have final approval and if so, I will be thrilled. I will receive cash and many copies of the cards I "composed". The cards will then get framed and put on the wall next to my diploma. (Just kidding!)

Speaking of cards, the hubby and I's anniversary is next week so I guess I better set aside some time to go to the store and stand in front of the greeting card display for awhile.

But for him, I won't settle on just any anniversary card. Like Hallmark, I care enough to send the very best. :)

¶ 1:02 AM //

For the love of god people - quit stealing the "Support our Troops" yellow ribbon magnet off of my SUV. They are only about $5 and can be found everywhere. Get your own!

Cars are getting so personal nowadays - it's like lockers in high school. Everyone has one with their own combination but there is still this desire to "fancy" them up. First it was the signifigance of whatever you had hanging from your rearview mirror. Garters, tassles, dice, crosses, crystals, sunglasses, air freshners, etc.

Then came vanity plates, specialized plates, license plate frames, personalized mudflaps, silver car decals, bumper stickers, window clings, those suction cup yellow "Baby on Board" signs, specialized paint jobs, neon lighting, steering wheel covers, seat covers, floormats and of course specialized rims. And heaven forbid I forget the people who load up the rearview window with stuffed animals.

I must confess to loathing bumper stickers. However, in high school, I WAS one of those people who had a garter and a tassle hanging from my rearview mirror. My boyfriend even had a "monster truck" with his last name painted on the tailgate.

Today my SUV does have specialized plates (U of M Griz) and I have silver "etched" Griz paws on my rear brake lights. But that's it.

Because people keep stealing my "Support the Troops" yellow ribbon magnet...

Update:

I had to update this today because while I was waiting at a stoplight, the car in front of me had a yellow Walmart smiley face antennae topper. I looked around and saw a Jack-In-the-Box topper, a red, white and blue Mickey Mouse earred topper and a golf ball topper. Someone is making big bucks off of this idea.

¶ 4:29 PM //

Local story makes national news.

How would you like to be told that your son/daughter was in a plane crash in which there were no survivors. Only to find out later that they walked out of the forest alive?

http://www.dailyinterlake.com/NewsEngine/SelectStory_AD.tpl?command=search&db=news.db&eqskudata=0-762597-85

¶ 7:13 AM //

Does it ever happen to you that something gets into your psyche and then you see it everywhere? It's like when we bought our most recent car. Suddenly there were white SUV's everywhere just like ours.

Lately for me it is a thing with monkeys and Star Wars. I can't go anywhere without seeing one, the other or sometimes both.

I blame Bingo and Tad.

And if, like me, Tad's blog has you with Star Wars on the brain, a local columnist named Jamie Kelly has a great read for you to check out:

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2004/09/23/entertainer/twaddle/fat72.txt

¶ 9:36 PM //

This is an area filled with celebrities. Film stars, television stars, sports stars, the rich, the famous and the infamous. There is one woman in particular that the hubby and I refer to as "crazy actress lady" for implied reasons.

He has occasion to run into her and recently she gave him an autographed book she wrote on how to make it in Hollywood. I shouldn't call it a book really, it's more like a pamphlet.

He passed it on to me and I sat down with it. The first few pages are a thank you to the people who helped her make it in the industry. The next few (and I mean few) pages are a couple of stories about REALLY famous people she appeared in films with. Then there are several pages of photos both on and off the set. A few pages advocating plastic surgery and then a few pages about finding an agent. Then a LOT of pages listing agencies, management companies, plastic surgeons and other helpful people in the business.

And that's it.

I looked up CAL on imdb.com and she has 8 filmography credits from the 60's. I'm not judging her or begrudging anyone for writing a book. Hell, she's published and I'm not. (Yet!)

I just thought it was a funny addition to my other collection of books about LaLa land!

¶ 9:17 PM //

I had no idea my creation of the name Stan would cause such a sensation over at Rance's blog. I knew it would cause a stir but not a full blown shakedown. I do, however, love the comment that JCanuck/Africanuck recently posted:

Name: JCanuck
Bingo, you poor lost soul. Stan is just an anagram followed by a free word association game.
S t a n = a n t s = r a n t s = R A N C E.

¶ 3:22 PM //

I talk in my sleep sometimes. It means that I better not have anything to hide from my husband. He recounted this conversation from last night for me:

Annie: What is Casey's last name?
Hubby: Casey who?
Annie: Casey at bat. Oh never mind. I'm too tired and lazy to look it up on the internet right now.

When he told me, I didn't remember anything about it. But it got me thinking and to satisfy my curiosity, I did look it up on the internet. There is no mention of a last name.

Casey at the Bat
by Ernest Lawrence Thayer

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;
The score stood four to two with but one inning more to play.
So when Cooney died at first, and Burrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought "If only Casey could get a whack at that -
We'd put up even money now with Casey at the bat."
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a fake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey's getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and they saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled in the mountaintops, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the hillside and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Casey's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey's bearing and a smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Casey at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped -
"That ain't my style," said Casey. "Strike one," the umpire said.
From the benches black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone in the stand;
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Casey's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult, he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered "Fraud!";
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Casey's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out.

¶ 6:25 PM //

The man we all know and love as Silent Bob has a book coming out and I can't wait.

The book is called Just Another Opinionated A**hole : The Collected Writings of Kevin Smith. I went to order it off of Amazon today and it looks like the release date has been pushed back to January. This is very unfortunate because I was hoping to read it on my trip next month.

Kevin if you are reading this, please send me an autographed ARC (advanced reading copy) for my birthday. I swear to god that it will never leave my possession.

In the meantime, have you seen his "Declare Yourself" PSA's on Comedy Central? If not, here is the link to watch them on the web:

http://www.declareyourself.com/psas/index.htm

Plain and simple - I love him because he is a dialogue man. His commentaries on all of his DVD's are great too. I'm looking forward to watching Jersey Girl "with him" this weekend.

¶ 9:07 AM //

The police are now issuing citations to people for putting their garbage out the night before pickup. Apparently the bears in the valley are having a field day going thru the cans. The local police log is calling it the "bear olympics" and since there are no Pandas involved - China cannot protest any of the events.

I don't know if every small town does this but our local paper publishes tidbits from the police log on a daily basis. It makes for very entertaining reading especially when the humor is not intentional.

The bear sightings are getting really bad but lately the reports are bordering on hilarious. The one I laughed at the most was the report of the kids that were waiting at the bus stop and the bears came out to "play" with them. The kids paniced and ran so the bears started chasing them. To me it sounded like an episode of South Park.

I guess it's not really beary funny...

¶ 9:04 PM //

Well thanks to a combination of the online tabloid Defamer, the Rance celebrity blog and the Montana Blogging Network (a BIG shout out to y'all) the traffic to my blog tripled over the weekend. If you think that means I have a new standard to uphold, you don't know me very well! ;)

A few random thoughts:

-Britney got married. Thank god. Can we move onto something else now?

-The Emmys are over. I was surprised that SJP (great speech) and Drea de Matteo (love her) won but my vote for best dressed goes to Mariska Hargitay. I could totally see her mother (Jayne Maynsfield) in her last night. Ty Pennington cleaned up real nice as well.

Also, I think I scratched my tv when I threw something at Omarosa as they gave her air time on the preshow.

With the Bravo script done, the Rance contribution in the books and a few articles currently being reviewed by editors, I am trying to find a way to procrastinate out of working on the next screenplay.

So, I think I may update my resume and send it to the Montana Film Office in the hopes of landing a production job in the spring. I was hoping to land some work doing coverage for screenplays but for logistical reasons, that is unfortunately not going to pan out (even though I could to 4-5 a week). I have also been thinking about trying to contribute some things to a few local newspapers. That's a huge leap of faith for me but it would be nice to make some Christmas cash as it is only about three months away.

As I look out the windows this morning there is snow on the mountains and the high today is supposed to be 50. But hey - this is Montana so you know it will be 75 on Friday.

So to all the new readers of my blog - get back to work! And fellow writers (Hollywood and otherwise) - stop procrastinating as well and either update your blogs or polish your screenplay!

¶ 9:19 AM //

With my Pardon The Interruption contribution published today on Rance's front page for all the world to see, the Defamer goes after Rance and gets a response. Check out the Q & A.

http://www.defamer.com/topic/defamer-qa-rance-secret-celebrity-blogger-021526.php

And that's enough Rance related posts for me...enjoy the Emmy Awards this weekend.

¶ 4:48 PM //

Well he's not really doing it for ME personally (more like John Kerry) but he is hosting the season opener of Saturday Night Live on October 2nd. Which, coincidentally, happens to be the night before my birthday.

Now if I can just convince him to let me write his monologue (see entry entitled 30 Seconds with Ben Affleck) and Tina Fey to take me up on my suggestion to have the guest host co-anchor Weekend Update...

¶ 9:45 AM //

From time to time when I have nothing else to say - I'm going to blog about what I would say and do if I could have someone's undivided attention for 30 seconds. Here goes:

Ask him why he thinks Project Greenlight failed the first two times.
Ask him if he was Pickle87. (A Project Greenlight thing).
Ask him to do his Regis impersonation - but only once.
Ask him how many times AFLAC has called.
Ask him for Chris Moore's email address.
Ask him for Kevin Smith's phone number.
Ask him to quit smoking.
Ask him for any Red Sox tickets he can't use.
Ask him to take me to the Inaugural ball.

¶ 9:40 AM //

Coming soon to a computer near you...

A few notes first:

1. We thought Bingo the Monkey was MIA so I had written part III and then had to go back and rewrite it. Such is the business and that's what writers do. Bingo was a hard act to follow but I gave it my best shot.

2. There is a bit of trivia to my part of the story which I will blog about over the weekend.

3. I was in an indie once and at the screening was mortified to have to sit with other people and watch myself on screen. The final scene that I wrote and acted in made people cry (because it was touching not because it was bad) but I vowed from that day on to stay behind the camera.

I fear that reading comments today will provide the same mortification. Therefore, this afternoon I will be out on a horse in the rain with soaking wet Levi's when this goes down over at Rance's.

Part III of Pardon the Interruption by Annie of Hollywood & Montana

"Oh no. Not again." said the deputy. He then pulled a walkie talkie from his back pocket and radioed the station. "This is Deputy Kaelin. Who's turn is it to come down to the auction house and pick up Stan?"

A female voice on the radio crackled "Buzz is on his way."

The deputy looked at Anna and laughed. "Well miss, as you can see, Stan here is a bit of a monkey. This is not the first nor the last time you will see him like this. If you will allow me to take him off your hands, we'll just let him rest comfortably until Buzz gets here."

"Will he be allright?" she asked.

"Oh, no worries my dear. This is nothing out of the ordinary for him. Now, where were we?" he asked.

Anna extended her hand and replied "My name is Annabella Montoya but my friends call me Anna. I was just about to thank you for helping me out with that family. It appears that I may have made a poor first impression upon the folks around here."

"Well they’re not too keen on outsiders coming in but you’ll give them plenty to gossip about now. There’s a story behind the pin that I think you should hear. Do you have time for a cup of coffee?" asked the deputy.

Anna was intrigued. "Sure," she replied.

The deputy asked a burly young man to look after Stan and then the two made their way back to the concession stand amid stares from the locals. The deputy ordered two cups of coffee - both black - and placed one on either side of a picnic table that was located nearby. As Anna and the deputy took their places, she noticed that the other tables around them quickly filled up as well.

"So let me guess," said Anna, "I either took away someone’s livlihood on eBay or else I have purchased an item belonging to some sort of local legend."

The deputy grinned. "You could say that. You see, about 60 years ago, there was a murder suicide here involving Rose, the original owner of the pin. Rose and her husband owned a place not too far outside of town and they had a young man working for them. There was an affair and things ended badly. Now, why a 19 year old boy would be attracted to such an older woman is beyond me but that wasn’t what was so unusual."

To be continued by the next collaborative writer over at Rance's site...

Triva update:
1. The murder suicide actually happened to my great, great grandmother. The suicide was a hanging.

2. The name of Stan was thrown in to stir up the comments pot at Rance's and it worked.

3. Annabella Montoya is a pseudoname that I used to write something once. I was reminded of it when the story started with the main character's name of Anna. I would love to hear Antonio Banderas say that name just once.

¶ 9:00 AM //

It's been brought to my attention that I have a tendency to swear in my comments on other people's blogs. I don't want people to get the impression that I am a trailer-trash-talking moron. I am actually quite ladylike and therefore apologize to anyone offended. My swearing is done with the best of intentions.

As a child, I was raised never to utter a four letter word. I couldn't see movies that had them in them and I never heard my parents say anything other than damn.

As an adult, I don't swear in front of my kids. I let them watch movies with swear words but only after my kids have heard my speech about how "just cause they say it in the movies doesn't mean you can."

To me, swearing with my friends and loved ones is done in a joking manner. It's a way of being jovial, funny and letting my guard down. The intent is not to be crude or demeaning.

So if anyone is or has been offended...I lovingly say f*** you!

:)

¶ 1:49 PM //

At the request of Rubber Duckie and the administrative staff, I will be contributing to the blog of "otherwise known as annoymous A list celebrity" Rance. My entry is up very soon and I am feeling the pressure. Not because of Rance's status online and in Hollywood but because of the fact that I have to come up with a very good "lead in" for Private Dick.

I will post my contribution here but please check out Rance's site for the entire food chain story. I must warn you - if you have never been to Rance's site before - he and the community he has bolstered will suck you in. I suggest using the bathroom first and then sitting down with food and drink.

Cheers!

¶ 5:10 PM //

The adolescent in me would like to thank Mary Vernieu for casting Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson in the new Dukes of Hazard movie. I don't care if the movie is crap - I can't wait to see these three interact together. How about a cameo from The Rock since he has worked with both Scott and Knoxville before?

Mary was the casting director for The Slaughter Rule (filmed here in Montana). She has also cast SEVERAL of my favorite movies (too many to mention). I imagine it's a tough job but she has a flair for mixing the right people together.

Sidenote: Seann William Scott and I share the same birthday and "Stifler" is the hubby's favorite actor. Jessica Biel is his favorite actress so he was bummed when I told him that it was the OTHER Jessica that got the role of Daisy.

Let's just hope they pimp out the car a little bit!

¶ 3:00 PM //

An annual event in Montana every year is the "What the Hay" contest. Locals in south central Montana take bales of hay and transform them into characters, art and sometimes pure nonsense. It was voted toursit event of the year for 2003.

This morning's paper had a picture of one entrant's Tony the Tiger. I'm not too great at uploading pictures so I'll provide some links for you to check some others out.

Frog
http://www.americanprofile.com/issues/20020825/20020825_2381.asp

Bee, Barney & Golfer
http://www.judithbasin.com/hay/index.htm

Not sure what this is
http://www.hayinart.com/images/1139.jpg

Leaning tower and USHAY today
http://www.grit.com/feature.php?story=26

Looney Tunes & Energizer Bunny
http://visitmt.com/categories/ImageGallery.asp?IDRRecordID=14381&SiteID=1

¶ 8:22 AM //

My pilot for the Bravo sitcom script contest is done. I have been working on it for just over a month now. Tomorrow I will go make the required amount of copies and send it off to LaLa land.

I wish I could share the title, plot, stories and characters with you but I think I'll keep the cards close to my chest on this one. Let's just say that I am really, really happy with it and that's not just a poker face.

This is a big deal for me. The thing I like about contests like these are that they give people like me, living in the sticks, a chance. A chance to be read, a chance to be discovered, a chance to be acknowledged and possibly hired. I am, however, somewhat uneasy about the fact that my possible life as a screenwriter rests in the hands of the hired third party readers.

I'm developing a bit of the post partum depression that Tad described when he finished his last script. Once this thing hits the envelope tomorrow, there is no turning back. Only the anticipation of What Dreams May Come (a movie filmed partially in Montana by the way). Many thanks to Tad for answering even the most mundane of questions on a regular basis.

I'm going a little stir crazy with the knee and all the rain so I'm looking forward to getting out of the house tomorrow. The hubby is off and we are going out to lunch to celebrate.

And on a lighter note...please stop by The Defamer and check out the photos of Hugh Jackman giving Matt Damon a lap dance, live and on stage. What a way to close a show!

¶ 8:11 PM //

My thoughts are with Mad Mommy today as she packs up her family and belongings before having to face the wrath of Ivan. I've never been thru a hurricane so I can't imagine what it must be like to be get hit not once, not twice but three times.

How would you choose what to take with you? Photos and important documents of course but what if you could only take one item?

My son would take his Playstation.
My daughter would take a stuffed animal.
My younger son would take Buzz Lightyear.
My husband would take his golf clubs.

And I would take the quilt that I don't have yet. My brother and his fiancee are making me a quilt for Christmas this year out of all my children's old baby clothes and blankets. I can't wait to get it. It's already my most prized possession.

Good luck to you Mad Mommy - stay safe!

¶ 3:35 PM //

I just read the synopsis on IMDB and it sounds a little confusing to me. In my opinion, making a movie about making a movie never seems to come across well on screen. I hope Nora Ephron can do it better.

I'd love to know how they get Nic to wiggle her nose. I've tried it ever since I was a kid and can't do it. Maybe Vance the Anti-Rance can shed some insight on this.

I did learn to raise one eyebrow by watching the character of Hope on Days of Our Lives do it. That move has come in handy quite a few times in my life.

¶ 3:27 PM //

I read in Parade magazine today that if she hadn't been widowed, Elizabeth Taylor would have been their great aunt. Do you think she looks at them and just shakes her head?

¶ 3:07 PM //

When the hubby and I moved to the valley and bought this place, I described it and it's location to my father. He told me it sounded like we were really close to the old "family farm" that was originally homesteaded by my great grandfather. Sure enough, when my dad came to visit, he said that we were actually living on the farm acreage. My grandfather could not believe it when I told him how much we paid for this place compared to how much his father sold the entire parcel for.

That stirred the memories up in my grandparents and they decided that they would make a trip up here this fall. I was really, really looking forward to their visit and taking them to all the old "haunts".

Today I received an email from my grandmother (she is so internet savy it's scary) that said they weren't going to be able to make it due to health reasons. And besides that, she has another reason. This is what her email said:

I am working hard on the election this year. Mostly I can just phone bank and mail, but it is very interesting. My first time, but I am very passionate about getting a new regime in Washington. D. C.

You go grandma!

¶ 7:04 PM //

A blogger emailed me and asked why I didn't go to the film festival in Bozeman this week. Believe me, I would have loved to have been there however this was also the week that school started for the kids.

I saw Rick Schroeder on the news and I heard great things about his directorial debut. They showed a clip of Peter Fonda accepting his award and it looked like everyone was having a great time. I am hoping, however, to make it to Sundance. I sent in an application to volunteer and a very nice fellow blogger has offered to help me out with that. ;)

I did have a run in (almost literally) with a celebrity last week that was a bit unusual. It was someone "thisclose" to the Kobe camp and it was right around the time of the announcement that the charges in the criminal case had been dropped. I was dying wanting to ask them what their thoughts were but that's not how we do things around here.

Sidenote: Today is the three year anniversary of September 11th. The Griz are playing Hofstra (from New York) today and for some reason that makes me sad. I'm not as pumped up as usual for the game but I guess I should look at it as a reminder that life does indeed go on.

Go Griz!!

¶ 9:33 AM //

I just found out that a former coworker of mine is leaving her family for her career. Of course she doesn't see it that way, she just happens to be getting divorced at the same time she just got a huge promotion. They have one child and her husband has been wanting more kids for a long time now so the writing was on the wall.

I feel somewhat guilty because this is a woman that I recruited and hired. She had the goods, I saw it and I wanted her on the team. I even arranged a daycare provider for her and trained her. We became good friends and worked well together. When I left, she took my place.

Another friend of mine went thru the same thing about a year ago. Same company, same situation. Her husband was devastated.

I have to admit that when my husband and I found out that our son had a form of autism and that we were moving across state, we made the decision for me to stay home and I was hesitant. Why? Because I was just like JC Wyatt in the movie Baby Boom. I knew my ego would miss the rewards of a job well done. The money, the prestige, the perks. When I told my corporate friends what we had decided, they tried to make me feel like I was taking a huge step backwards in my life.

I knew it was important for my family though and as time passed, I found that I don't miss rushing clients out of the office to make it to daycare on time. I don't miss going home, cooking dinner and then going back to the office until midnight. I don't miss having my sick daughter curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor of my office because the school called to say she had the flu and my boss couldn't say NO to a client. (Boss SOMEHOW got the flu two days later.)

I know for an ABSOLUTE fact that if I didn't have a family, I would be a workaholic. 12 -18 hour days, power lunches, power dinners, chaos, frenzy and adrenaline would totally be my cup of tea.

But the fact is I DO have a family that I love. Once I let go of the corporate life and embraced being a stay at home mom, I found that I loved this life even more and that the rewards are more personal. And the biggest surprise of all is that I rediscovered writing. I enjoy it so much and wish, wish, wish that I would have majored in journalism in college or gone to film school. Some day, once all three kids are in school, I may go back to school or work. In the meantime, I am a big believer in signs and I am hoping for a sign that writing should be my profession as well as my passion.

I can tell you one thing for certain - I definately don't miss wearing nylons.

:)

¶ 9:51 PM //

I know that this is Fashion Week in New York. I've never been to a fashion show but I think it would be a lot of fun. Scratch that - I was a child model in a local fashion show once. Ha Ha.

I have a very simple style. Denim jeans/shorts/capris/skirt, black bag, simple pearl earrings and pretty much anything you can find at the Gap or Eddie Bauer. Six days out of the week you will find my supermodel hair (as my sisters refer to it) hanging in a pony tail out the back of a Nike hat. And I always, always wear sunglasses. If they are not on my face, they are either keeping my hair back or on top of my hat.

I don't need a makeover. I clean up nice and I have a closet full of suits, skirts, dresses, etc. Put me in a "little black dress" with heels and you would never know I am a mom of three. But I have never owned anything made by a designer. I'm not talking Calvin Klein or DKNY, I'm talking Prada, Chanel, Versace, Manolo, Gucci.

It all boils down to the fact that I just can't justify buying clothing that costs more than my house payment, car payment or both!

¶ 1:42 PM //

Inspired by a blog from Africanuk.

I once spent an evening looking up pictures of my childhood toys on eBay. I have a pink Mattel sewing machine that was mine from childhood. It still works and I was curious to see what it was going for. One thing lead to another and two hours laters I was still looking at toys. I can't believe how many collectors there are out there - especially the old Fisher Price toys from the 70's.

I also found my Donnie & Marie barbie dolls, every Barbie I ever owned, my Holly Hobbie things, my sister's Smaller Homes and Garden dollhouse and other things I forgot even existed.

Simple pleasures that are now worth big bucks!

¶ 9:18 PM //

No pun intended.

Dan Abrams came out today on both the Today Show and his own Abrams Report about his bout with testicular cancer. It took a lot of guts to do that and I admire him immensly for telling his story and that of Sean Kimerling - who wasn't so lucky.

www.seankimerling.org

TC has affected my family as well. The person who was affected was diagnosed in his early 20's and he survived but is unable to have children. He had no idea about TC - he thought it was just a swollen gland.

I hope that they pull boys aside in sex ed class and teach them how to do a self exam. On the same token, I hope they teach girls how to do a breast exam. There must be something we can do to get that implemented.

An ounce of prevention is worth a few minutes of embarassment.

¶ 8:52 PM //

Paging Dr. Cat - again. I had to go to Urgent Care last night. Yes, again. This time it was for an actual injury.

While waiting for the kids to get home from the bus yesterday I was doing some work out in the yard - planting shrubs, bulbs, plants, etc. I squatted down and heard a wierd popping noise in my knee. I stood back up and felt something move in it. Then I looked down and I could see what looked like a bone pushing up against the skin when I moved it. I said "This isn't good" and then the bottom half of my leg started to tingle like it was falling asleep and it started to swell.

My dramatic daughter was the first one to get home. She gets a huge adrenaline rush from things like this. So I told her to get the phone, call dad and have him come home. Of course she did that and then proceeded to call her friends and her grandparents to tell them about all the excitement. Then she tried to talk me into having an ambulance come instead. I think her exact words were "Wouldn't that be more fun?"

So when the hubby got home, he loaded up the kids and I so that we could take a drive to town. The kids were actually excited. Mom never gets hurt and so this became an adventure. The adventure got over quickly when the doctor told the kids that they couldn't come with us for the x-rays.

Long story short - I dislocated my kneecap, pulled some muscle that attaches to it (or near it) and the swelling was pressing on a nerve on the right side of my leg causing it to "fall asleep". They gave me drugs, a brace and some exercises to do but it should heal pretty quickly.

I never get sick. I've never broken a bone in my life. The only time I ever have to go to the doctor is for an annual checkup. I've been athletic my whole life and to have this happen from squatting is foreign to me.

Other friends of mine (all in their late 20's early 30's) are having similar things happen to them as well. A torn achilles playing basketball, torn ligaments from jumping on the trampoline with their kids, ankle injuries from waterskiing, shoulder injuries from hunting, etc.

Maybe we're all starting to show our "age".

¶ 7:36 AM //

I bet you didn't know that the members of FEMA were in the midst of an annual conference/meeting at a resort in Big Sky, Montana, on September 11th. An F16 picked up the director at the airport in Belgrade and rushed him back to the east coast.

There was little or no mention of this in the media and this issue has become part of conspiracy/controversy for those who believe in a "secret government within the government."

I believe it was just a coincidence.

¶ 1:55 PM //

I received a very interesting email from an annonymous, yet flirty, Red Sox fan informing me that my blog was listed on www.blogshares.com. Wanting to make sure it wasn't a porn site, I checked it out last night and got hooked.

It's a fantasy blog market similar to the stock market. You are given money to buy shares of blogs and trade as you wish.

So fellow bloggers beware....I now "own" stock in some of you so please, keep writing.

¶ 1:12 PM //

From this weekend:

Deer (6)
Antelope (1)
Racoon (2)
Porcupine (1)
Cat (2)
Squirrel (4)
Rabbit (3)

Anyone hungry?

¶ 9:30 AM //

When you are on a road trip with three hours to kill you end up with either some great conversations or a lot of silence. While the kids were tuned into their movie, the hubby asked if he could read my tv pilot. He's never read anything of mine before but I was anxious for his feedback.

When he was done, he said "You came up with and wrote all this? How'd you do that?" I explained and then asked him what he thought. He said "It's good" and then put it down and started talking about something else.

There was no discussion of plot, character backstory, act structure, dialogue, etc. But I know him and my instincts tell me that if it was crap - he would have said so.

And that was only the first draft...

¶ 9:30 PM //

We headed to Spokane, Washington this weekend for a little R&R. Took the kids to Silverwood Amusement park and I reminded them what it's like to have fun with mom. I took them on all the rides that make you sick, get you wet and make you scream. They loved every minute of it.

For the hubby and I, going to a big city is all about the food. Krispy Kreme, Outback, Jack in the Box, IHOP, Chilli's, you name it.

We will spend the next week trying to work it all off. Anyone got a secret for losing 10 lbs fairly quickly? :)

¶ 9:27 PM //

for my neighbor. She is pregnant and due on Monday. I think her doctor is secretly hoping his holiday weekend won't be ruined. :)

Labor Day signifies the end of summer for most people. For Montanans, it is the beginning of football season, hunting season (archery), the Annual Sheep Drive and the countdown to ski season.

Battle of the Bears tomorrow - Griz vs. Maine. Go Griz!!!

Whatever you are doing this weekend - have a great one and be safe!

¶ 9:17 AM //

Fonda is the recepient of the Gary Cooper Spirit of Montana Award which will be presented to him by Jeff Bridges at the film festival next week. Fonda had a great quote in the paper this morning in regard to Gary Cooper. He said that Cooper was "a great Westerner - his bearing, everything about him. When I found out he was from Montana, I thought, 'Well, that's why.'"

¶ 9:13 AM //

I left my damn cash card in the ATM this afternoon and didn't realize it until I was shopping with my daughter this evening. There wasn't anyone behind me when I getting some cash so I am assuming (and hoping) that the machine just sucked it back in and I will be able to go down to the bank tomorrow morning and retrieve it. I have checked though and luckily there hasn't been any unauthorized uses.

It sucks because we are supposed to go out of town tomorrow for Labor Day and now we won't be able to go until I get this resolved.

Have you ever bereated yourself over and over for doing something so stupid?!

UPDATE: My ass is saved. Bank called and they have my ATM card. I believe in karma and I'm guessing this is my reward for honking at someone once when they left their card in the ATM and I was right behind them. There is a higher power!

¶ 9:04 AM //

Monte is adored in this state (unless you are a Cats fan) and has his own website: http://web.montanagrizzlies.com/umgriz/boosters/monte.htm

This year, it's taking two alternating students to fill the paws that Barry Anderson, who for years reigned supreme inside the Monte suit, left behind.

Maybe it was because his name sounds like "Beary" that he was able to transform a costume into a motorcyle riding, back flipping, slam dunking celebrity. Because of Barry, Monte was selected by Capital One and ESPN as the 2002-2003 National Champion Mascot of the Year.

My kids will never know he is gone but the rest of us wish Barry the best of luck in his pursuit of becoming an NBA mascot.

Go Barry and go Griz!

UPDATE: Barry has accepted an offer from the Chicago Bulls to be their new mascot. Way to go Barry!

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2004/09/03/news/local/news02.txt

¶ 9:03 AM //

What happens if you are on a cruise ship that is supposed to return to Florida this weekend? Do they take you somewhere else? Extend the trip?

Even though it sounds like a potential movie - I 'm actually very curious about this.

¶ 12:35 PM //

Here's my take on who should replace Jimmy Fallon on SNL's Weekend Update:

I think that they should have whoever is "guest hosting" the show co-anchor alongside Tina Fey. I don't know who the hosts that they have lined up for this season will be but I think it would be pretty funny to see them try to "anchor" the news.

They could also make it a running gag to say "and substituting tonight for Jimmy Fallon is..."

(I already emailed this suggestion to Tina Fey - SNL's head writer.)

UPDATE: "Tina" darling - surely you jest!

¶ 9:42 PM //

Paging Dr. Cat!!

You know that Appalachain Emergency skit that they have on SNL every once in awhile? Well boy do I have one for them.

I had to go into Urgent Care this morning and I was the first one to arrive. After they took some blood from me I was sent back out into the reception area to await the results.

About ten minutes later, a man came in with a bathrobe on. Nothing else but boxers underneath. Apparently, he stepped off his porch this morning to get the paper and a bee stung him. Right there. And it seems that he is allergic to bee stings since things were getting pretty swollen.

As soon as he told the receptionist what happened - all of the office women's eyes simultaneously looked to his groin region. It was like a reflex.

I tried really hard to supress a giggle and turn it into a "cough" but then that made me think of "turn your head and cough" which made my giggle turn into a laugh. All I could do was apologize and try to cover my eyes so that he wouldn't see the tears coming out of them.

I guess I can't say I feel his pain but I did feel sorry for him. Even though I couldn't supress the humor.

¶ 6:05 PM //